42 tips for the first-time marathoners

This weekend, I'm running my 27th marathon, my 97th road race. WHAT THE HECK?!

No. 27 and my sixth Goodlife full.

Today, I talked a runner through his first marathon, and realized there's a lot of pro tips I wish I knew... So, no fancy narrative, no GIFs, just this random list of thoughts. Here we go

1. Friday night sleep is best for a Sunday marathon. You won't sleep that well the night before
2. If you have a fuelling plan, mark it on your pace band. So you won't forget
3. Yes, you can get a pace band that shows you your splits, that way you can track to see if you're hitting milestones (ie 5K) faster or slower than your goal
4. Us old timers use running pace calculators like the one here. 
5. Guys, cover your nipples. Trust me, 3-5 hours of chafing can HURT. Bandaids will suffice
6. If you're wondering how many gels to take during a marathon, then go for anywhere from 3 - 6. But make sure you're fuelling early
7. Yes there are portapotties on the course. And yes, if you're a guy, you can improvise on the course. Just make sure you stop
8. If you're wearing a new pair of shoes on marathon day, then abort that plan. 
9. Pin your bib to your race shirt the night before. I can't tell you how many times I see people, shivering, trying at the race start
10. By the way, shivering at the start isn't a bad idea. You're dressing to run, not to stand outside
11. Garbage bags with holes poked out for your head and arms are appropriate wind/rain gear
12. Perfectly acceptable to wear warmup clothes to toss away
13. Not acceptable to toss them at another runner - bundle it into a ball before throwing 
14. Point at volunteers who are handing out water. That way, they know you're about to take the cup. Squeeze the cup to create a spout, then tip your head as you take sips
15. Thank the volunteers
16. Take those gels, if you can, right before you hit a water station, so you can wash them down
17. It's fine to draft after runners to pace, but if you do so, also take the lead at times
18. NOT fine to run on one's heels, give them space - and don't be all random about moving side to side
19. If you're about to take a walk break, don't come to an abrupt stop - at the very least, pull to the side and put up your hand
20. Smile and/or wave at any camera pointed in your direction
21. Marathon plan 1: First half should feel easy, next 10K should feel like you're working and the rest tests your training
22. Follow a pace bunny at your peril. Know your splits and know when to back the pace down. Remember, they are always faster runners who may not know your pace
23. Double knot your laces.
24. Hydrate well two days and the day before the race. Make sure you are getting electrolytes. 
25. If you fall victim to cramps, salt intake isn't a bad thing. Think soups, pretzels. Just straight water may not be a good idea
26. Also, fibre the day before isn't the greatest idea. Think of your GI issues
27. Eat your breakfast 3-4 hours before the race. It can be as much as a bagel with peanut butter and a banana for an hour before. Some do oatmeal or cereal. Do what works but get the calories in.
28. You will probably need to pee on race morning. A lot. This is normal. Nerves
29. Charge your Garmin/GPS watch the day before. In fact, keep the darned thing plugged in overnight
30. Have a goal time. Seriously. 
31. If you don't have one, maybe use a race predictor, put in another race time.
32. Yes you can listen to music during your race. I'm not a fan, but I get it. Just KEEP THE VOLUME DOWN when you're running
33. Get to the race an hour before the start time.
34. If you don't have to pee, and you're at a race early, go line up at a portapotty. Trust me, by the time you get to the front, you'll have to go
35. BodyGlide. In any place you think you'll need it.
36. Do not wear the race shirt during the race. If you have to ask, then... just don't ask. Don't wear it.
37. Do not answer your phone while running the marathon. Even if you really wanted to say to the person on the other line that "I'm running a marathon." Everyone around you will want to punch you
38. Race étiquette: look before you spit, or throw away the cup, or decide to weave. Just don't be annoying 
39. Marathon plan 2: Run with your head, then your heart, and within your own ability
40. If you are delirious, still NEVER forget to take that gel, Gatorade in the late miles.
41. Bonking happens, walking happens, accept that you are running a long time
42. And if this is your first, you will now remember that you have to always point out to everyone that it's not JUST 42K, it's... 42 POINT 2 Kilometres... Now you can call yourself a marathoner